The dark lord's call pulls the exalted king from his eternal slumber, but he's trapped behind a stone wall. A centipede pleads for help, but what if it's a hyper-advanced AI from the future? An assassin uses everyday objects in his craft and grooves to 1990s top 40 hits. Cannibal ghosts drive campers into an eating frenzy. What if Ivan the Terrible's Golden Library were hidden under the Red Square Krispy Kreme? What if a competing dungeon offered dental? Ooo Shiny! is a collection of 19 absurd stories from a mind that can't focus, each taking only 5 to 15 minutes to read during your morning constitutional. Sometimes rambling nonsense that aims to make you smirk or your eyes roll, even the most black-hearted, humorless souls will find at least one chuckle in this collection. Grab a stick of unicorn jerky, put down your time-traveling phone, and respawn into the dungeon next to the D.E.D. sorority mixer! As one advance reader called it, "Fun... In a disturbing way..."